Things I Learned from Being the Girl Who Always Tried

I used to be the girl who always tried.

Tried to make things work.

Tried to keep the peace.

Tried to hold on, even when it was already slipping.

I over-explained myself to people who didn’t want to understand me.

I shrank myself to avoid conflict.

I gave more chances than I should’ve and confused overextending with loyalty.

But somewhere along the way, something shifted.

Maybe it was the exhaustion.

Maybe it was the clarity that comes when you finally sit with the silence.

Or maybe I just got tired of trying to be someone I didn’t even recognize anymore.

This isn’t a story of regret.

It’s a story of becoming.

And if I could sit with the younger version of me, the girl who always tried, I’d tell her these things:

You don’t have to be chosen to be valuable.

Your worth isn’t something that’s handed to you when someone finally sees it.

Being overlooked doesn’t mean you weren’t enough.

Sometimes it just means they weren’t ready for someone like you.

You are not defined by who stays. You are defined by how you stay true to yourself.

Overextending yourself isn’t love. It’s abandonment of self.

Love that asks you to ignore your own needs isn’t love. It’s self-erasure.

You were never meant to break yourself in half to keep someone else whole.

Show up, yes, but not at the cost of vanishing.

Peace that costs your voice isn’t peace.

There’s a difference between keeping the peace and losing your power.

When you silence yourself to avoid conflict, you start a war within.

You deserve relationships where your truth doesn’t disrupt the peace. It deepens it.

If you’re always the one trying, you’re the only one holding it together.

Effort is only beautiful when it’s mutual.

Love should feel like a bridge, not a tightrope.

You shouldn’t have to carry the weight of a relationship alone just to prove you’re worthy of love.

Walking away doesn’t make you cold. It makes you conscious.

Leaving isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.

It means you finally saw yourself as someone worth saving.

You don’t have to stay just because you once hoped it would work.

People-pleasing is just self-rejection in disguise.

Every time you say yes when you mean no, a piece of you disappears.

You’re not kind for bending over backward. You’re scared of what happens if you don’t.

But love that’s rooted in fear isn’t love. It’s survival.

You are not too much. You were just with people who asked for less.

There’s nothing wrong with your depth, your softness, or your standards.

You were just giving it to people who weren’t capable of receiving it.

The right ones won’t flinch at your fire. They’ll stand beside it.

I’m not the girl who always tries anymore.

I’m the woman who knows when to stay, when to walk away, and when to let it all go with grace.

I still love deeply. I still care hard.

But now I offer that love from a place of fullness, not fear.

To the person who always tried:

You don’t have to anymore.

You’re allowed to choose yourself.

Every. Single. Time.